​
“We break, we bleed, and then we begin again.” That quote can hit the heartstrings of birth and life. Our bodies must surrender and open, and then new life begins, and sometimes, that comes with pain. You worked so hard to grow and nurture your little one, and you may be exhausted or overwhelmed on the other side of it. You may have had expectations or desires for your birthing experience to look or be a certain way and now find yourself derailed from those hopes.

I understand firsthand that sometimes things do not go as planned during pregnancy or birth, as I have had my ups and downs on this journey. I had two homebirths, and my third was a hospital induction due to health concerns for myself and my son. I have had high-risk pregnancies and learned how to navigate many health issues while growing a life. I’ve had both amazing and challenging pregnancy and birth situations. Each experience taught me something about strength, resiliency, nuances in life, and how to hold pain and growth simultaneously. After the hard times, I recognized that if I didn’t process this experience, it could be stored as trauma in my body. I floundered at first but slowly found my way back to myself and discovered a more balanced way to engage in not just birth but life. I had held so tightly to beliefs about how things “could” or “should” be done, and I had just been faced with an experience that didn’t meet those expectations. I could either ignore my own lived experience or gain a deeper understanding of the complexity of life, lean into grey, and break through into nuances.

Working through my discomfort opened me to many more ideas on how to be, what is possible, and finding comfort in uncertainty. We can show up to life while giving our best, make plans, hold our ideals, and shift with the unknown. We have the reserves to pivot when necessary while standing firm in our truth. Building skills in resiliency with pregnancy and birth is a great teacher for the parenting journey ahead.

We can plan and prepare all we want in parenthood, and there will still be circumstances that will require us to shift into the unknown. This isn’t a bad thing; it’s just life. We are so often sold this image that things will be a certain way and have to go as planned to have a successful birth (or anything), and that is not true. There is often more behind the scenes you don’t see, which can make motherhood feel isolating when you don’t live up to expectations. Most of the time, the truth is that we're all just doing our best, and it is completely imperfect AND still wildly beautiful.

​

​

​

​

​

​

 

 

 

 

It is important to explore the entirety of what pregnancy and birth can be, and sometimes that includes difficulty or trauma. There is room for you here, and your story matters. I don't want women to hide from their stories but embrace and process through them. This guide was designed for those with difficulty in pregnancy and/or childbirth, but it can also assist any mother with postpartum healing.

We can allow space for our triumphs and difficulties. The times when we struggle are the ones that can push us forward into much growth. I know that there is a lot of ideological purity in the birthing world. It can be a place where you find yourself and also a place where you feel shamed for not having the "perfect birth" or following the "right" guidelines. This is not that place. I know you have done your best and worked hard to bring that baby earthside. I see you; your story matters, and you belong.

Sometimes, we need reassurance, especially in the natural birth world, that we are enough, did enough, and are complete as we are. One moment does not define you or your motherhood. We are the life-bearers of the world, and that is pretty phenomenal. You did that! No matter how it happened, you rocked it. Take a breath, take some time to heal, reflect, and integrate your experience. You and your experience matter.
 

​

​

​

​